awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
