all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
