if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
