I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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