So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
