Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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