I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
