I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Even my vagina gasped.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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