I wanna passion pit in your ass
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
