Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
