in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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