I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
