Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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