and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
