Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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