I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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