did you get engaged???
he puts the penis in happiness.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
