we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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