My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
