Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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