she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We are two peas in an std pod
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
