if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
