I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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