I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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