Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i think i have two assholes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
