is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
