dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize