Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
