He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
