I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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