Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he was CRYING into my vagina
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
