Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Your dad touched me again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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