I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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