nut hugger
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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