I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
