no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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