you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
