It was confusing and full of hummus
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
