OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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