guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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