so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
