I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
