i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
