I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so let's talk penis.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
