At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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