so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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