we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize