oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Randomize
