Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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