her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
