i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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