girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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