I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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