??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I could fuck to npr.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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