porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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