The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
