Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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