The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
