drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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