I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
