But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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