There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She bit a glass in half.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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