Don't make out with my wife yet
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize