I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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