I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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