I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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