i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so let's talk penis.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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