why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
