Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
